Make Your Boss Look Good - Part 2: What Does Your Boss See & Hear?

The Set-up (if you don't want to go back to part one of this series): Do you ever feel that your boss, your colleagues, your company, don't really value what you bring to the job? You work hard, you're smarter than most yet others seem to get promoted before you, get better projects or, what is for me the worst, get positive praise and accolades when their true performance and value to the organization is pretty weak.

Step 1: Discover what you boss values and how you align your values with them

On to Step 2...

What you will find quite often is that your values align fairly well with those of your manager. It's rare that some common ground cannot be found. If you are unable to find common values, I suspect it's because you don't want to or because your manager is a sadist - if the latter is in fact the case...RUN!

So let's assume that you have more in common with your manager, values-wise then you originally thought...problem solved? Not quite. there are several other things that you will want to consider before declaring victory and expecting to receive your long-overdue accolades. Even once YOU are on the same page with your manager, your manager may not see things in the same way as you. I'm not talking about in relation to your values, but on your manager's perceived value that you and your other teammates bring to the organization. Let me give you an example:

You and your manager highly value client service and doing what's best for the customer - you've got common ground. So when you are assigned to a team to implement a new IT system you are totally excited. You bring relevant experience to the team which also includes Kerry, the boss' pet. She on the other hand has no experience, makes a boneheaded comments every other times she opens her mouth. Your boss gives the team its directive and is then out of the picture until the mid-project check-in. You get to work - the team is on track with the project, no thanks to Kerry as you see it. When you have individual meetings with your manager, you let her know that the project is going well and look forward to presenting your progress during the mid-project check-in. When that point comes, your boss is pleased and praises the team to the client, highlighting the work that Kerry and others on the team have done. Kerry? You didn't even get mentioned by name - just an "other" on the team?

Your reaction - bump that...I will give you mine, since this has happened to me before..."Oh h*** no! I do all the work. Kerry sits in the room like a deaf mute. When she opens her mouth she actually reduces value. And she gets the credit? My manager and I definitely don't have anything in common. She is so oblivious."

Now there could be several explanations for your boss' statement, but I'm trying to make a point so I'm just going to get right to it. While Kerry might have been a babbling idiot during your meetings, she listened and shared meaningful updates with your boss between the initial project meeting and the follow-up meeting. You on the other hand, didn't live your manager robust updates - expecting that she would ask if she wanted to know something additional. Do you see what I am getting at?

1. your manager doesn't care who does the work as long as it's done

2. your manager is going to use their senses - what they see and what they hear -to determine what is fact. If your manager receives robust updates from Kerry, she is going to attribute value to Kerry. If your manager, sees positive body language from Kerry in a meeting, while you seem annoyed by something, she is going to attribute value to Kerry as a team player.

So my friend, Kerry is going to be Kerry. As much as she annoys you, you can't control what she says or does. But you can control your actions and words.

Let's start by controlling what comes out of your mouth:

• When you talk with your boss individually or in a group setting, every statement you make must be intended to help your manager do their job better (doesn't mean you always agree).
• Difficult or more divisive conversations are better left for private meetings.
• Even when you boss is not in the room, you should assume that there is a spy cam in the wall and she is watching. It's amazing how many people will drop dime on you in the office (some unintentionally). That's a whole conversation for another blog.

Action Step: For one day, commit to speaking in a positive manner. No bashing your boss to colleagues, no dismissing ideas until you have really tried to understand the other person's point of view. If you have a meeting with your manager that day, consider what update you might give her that is valuable to her success. If no meeting in scheduled, consider sending an update by e-mail. Also consider what updates you might give to peers to help them do their jobs' better. Can you do it?

Make Your Boss Look Good - Part 1: What Does Your Boss Value?

Do you ever feel that your boss, your colleagues, your company, don't really value what you bring to the job? You work hard, you're smarter than most yet others seem to get promoted before you, get better projects or, what is for me the worst, get positive praise and accolades when their true performance and value to the organization is pretty weak. This is something that I have grappled with for my entire professional career - I line everyone up including myself on my values scale and a lot of folks who are doing quite well, don't seem to measure up. How frustrating! The boss' pet...not as smart, I can run circles around them - I complete double the amount of work in the same amount of time. The boss' pet...instead of doing work is kissing the boss' a** instead of getting the work done. Do you feel me?

I have explained away colleagues' elevated status in the most flippant and naive ways over the years and it was not until I moved into a management position where I begin to really understand what some of my colleagues had done well and what I had failed to do.

I believe that some of my colleagues who seemed be progressing or enjoying greater success understood what our boss valued and I either didn't bother to figure it out or I thought my values made more sense...

Consider in your own situation:

• What is most important to your boss? I know someone just gave a flippant, sarcastic answer! Now get to the real and right answer - consider what your boss says constantly in staff meetings, what they write to you by e-mail. It might be reputation, it might be slow and consistent growth, it might be not having any surprises.
• Then I want to consider what you value - it might be being right, it might be innovation, it might be contributing to important decisions for your department.
• Then consider whether the two align - is there a disconnect between your respective values? Is your zealous pursuit of your values undercutting what is important to your manager?

Now if your values do not align you have a few choices:

1. you can keep doing what you are doing and keep getting the same result,
2. you can leave and try to find a manager at another company whose values align with yours...good luck with that,
3. you can adapt.

I'll take Door #3, Bob! Yes, let's try adapting. I am not saying that you sell your values and your soul to the devil to get ahead, but instead that you try to first find a little common ground and then build from there. What does your boss value that actually makes sense to you? How might you highlight that in your discussions or your work?


Action Step (yes, you have to do a little work on this one): as you consider what your manager values, do one thing today that aligns with his/her values. For example, if your manager hates surprises and you suspect that in the coming weeks something might come up that will be less than favorable, instead of standing there with your lip stuck out thinking that if he is the manager, he should know or that the boss's pet should tell him, draft an e-mail to your manager highlighting your concerns and ask for his feedback. (Note: don't bring it up in a meeting with the entire team, but instead find a discrete way to give your manager a heads up. This is your first step in the new 'boss-aligned' you. You don't want to be perceived as undercutting the boss or showing off.)

"Not Me" Did It!

I'm sticking with my previous blog theme on the lessons that we learned as children that haven't seemed to evolve even as we have matured into adults...

As a kid when something got broken, eaten, used, left and mom asked who did it..."Not me" just rolled off my tongue with a haste that was pretty remarkable. "Not me" did a lot of things in my house...Sometimes it really wasn't me! Other times, I didn't want to get in trouble or didn't mean any harm when I did the deed...

Fast forward to adulthood and "not me" is still rearing his ugly, blame-deflecting head. We've all been there. You're assigned a project and need a co-worker's help; they don't come through and when the project doesn't get done right or isn't on time, who's fault is it..."NOT ME".

We are generally very good at finding fault in others and rationalizing our own role. What could our co-worker have done to complete the project? What could she have said to help me get my work done? Sound familiar? My favorite..."I told my co-worker what I needed and he didn't deliver. I'm not his manager; I can't make him do it!"

We spend a lot of time rehashing/recreating what others should have done differently. Unfortunately, not enough is done to consider what my role - your role - was at every stage of the project which led to the less than perfect outcomes.

To avoid this situation, communication is the key:

• Define the project outcomes and deliverables - get buy-in early (One of the most under-utilized tools, the "recap". Send an e-mail after the meeting to recap the discuss and ask that your co-worker reply with any changes.)
• Follow-up consistently to make sure that expectations and deadlines are mutual and aligned (set regular meeting to update progress, possibly engaging your manager(s) to ensure that the importance of the project is clear and that your team is on track).
• If the project doesn't seem to be progressing as originally anticipated, enlist third party support - this project may need to be re-prioritized or require additional resources. Get help or guidance from someone who can be fairly objective (make sure though that you are not blaming others for the delay. Even if you feel that a co-worker is at fault, make sure that you include them in discussions on how to proceed as much as possible. You want them to be clear about the project's priority and deadlines)

If a project isn't tracking, you must take ownership of the situation - don't let "not me" take the blame. You want to own the progress of all of your projects as much as possible - this is a mark of a true leader. Also in developing strong working relationships with your co-workers, you don't want to be someone who is known for passing the buck.