Strong Seed

Make Your Boss Look Good - Part 2: What Does Your Boss See & Hear?

2008-03-03T11:48:00.001-05:00

The Set-up (if you don't want to go back to part one of this series): Do you ever feel that your boss, your colleagues, your company, don't really value what you bring to the job? You work hard, you're smarter than most yet others seem to get promoted before you, get better projects or, what is for me the worst, get positive praise and accolades when their true performance and value to the organization is pretty weak.

Step 1: Discover what you boss values and how you align your values with them

On to Step 2...

What you will find quite often is that your values align fairly well with those of your manager. It's rare that some common ground cannot be found. If you are unable to find common values, I suspect it's because you don't want to or because your manager is a sadist - if the latter is in fact the case...RUN!

So let's assume that you have more in common with your manager, values-wise then you originally thought...problem solved? Not quite. there are several other things that you will want to consider before declaring victory and expecting to receive your long-overdue accolades. Even once YOU are on the same page with your manager, your manager may not see things in the same way as you. I'm not talking about in relation to your values, but on your manager's perceived value that you and your other teammates bring to the organization. Let me give you an example:

You and your manager highly value client service and doing what's best for the customer - you've got common ground. So when you are assigned to a team to implement a new IT system you are totally excited. You bring relevant experience to the team which also includes Kerry, the boss' pet. She on the other hand has no experience, makes a boneheaded comments every other times she opens her mouth. Your boss gives the team its directive and is then out of the picture until the mid-project check-in. You get to work - the team is on track with the project, no thanks to Kerry as you see it. When you have individual meetings with your manager, you let her know that the project is going well and look forward to presenting your progress during the mid-project check-in. When that point comes, your boss is pleased and praises the team to the client, highlighting the work that Kerry and others on the team have done. Kerry? You didn't even get mentioned by name - just an "other" on the team?

Your reaction - bump that...I will give you mine, since this has happened to me before..."Oh h*** no! I do all the work. Kerry sits in the room like a deaf mute. When she opens her mouth she actually reduces value. And she gets the credit? My manager and I definitely don't have anything in common. She is so oblivious."

Now there could be several explanations for your boss' statement, but I'm trying to make a point so I'm just going to get right to it. While Kerry might have been a babbling idiot during your meetings, she listened and shared meaningful updates with your boss between the initial project meeting and the follow-up meeting. You on the other hand, didn't live your manager robust updates - expecting that she would ask if she wanted to know something additional. Do you see what I am getting at?

1. your manager doesn't care who does the work as long as it's done

2. your manager is going to use their senses - what they see and what they hear -to determine what is fact. If your manager receives robust updates from Kerry, she is going to attribute value to Kerry. If your manager, sees positive body language from Kerry in a meeting, while you seem annoyed by something, she is going to attribute value to Kerry as a team player.

So my friend, Kerry is going to be Kerry. As much as she annoys you, you can't control what she says or does. But you can control your actions and words.

Let's start by controlling what comes out of your mouth:

When you talk with your boss individually or in a group setting, every statement you make must be intended to help your manager do their job better (doesn't mean you always agree).
Difficult or more divisive conversations are better left for private meetings.
Even when you boss is not in the room, you should assume that there is a spy cam in the wall and she is watching. It's amazing how many people will drop dime on you in the office (some unintentionally). That's a whole conversation for another blog.

Action Step: For one day, commit to speaking in a positive manner. No bashing your boss to colleagues, no dismissing ideas until you have really tried to understand the other person's point of view. If you have a meeting with your manager that day, consider what update you might give her that is valuable to her success. If no meeting in scheduled, consider sending an update by e-mail. Also consider what updates you might give to peers to help them do their jobs' better. Can you do it?

Make Your Boss Look Good - Part 1: What Does Your Boss Value?

2008-02-03T11:06:00.001-05:00

Do you ever feel that your boss, your colleagues, your company, don't really value what you bring to the job? You work hard, you're smarter than most yet others seem to get promoted before you, get better projects or, what is for me the worst, get positive praise and accolades when their true performance and value to the organization is pretty weak. This is something that I have grappled with for my entire professional career - I line everyone up including myself on my values scale and a lot of folks who are doing quite well, don't seem to measure up. How frustrating! The boss' pet...not as smart, I can run circles around them - I complete double the amount of work in the same amount of time. The boss' pet...instead of doing work is kissing the boss' a** instead of getting the work done. Do you feel me?

I have explained away colleagues' elevated status in the most flippant and naive ways over the years and it was not until I moved into a management position where I begin to really understand what some of my colleagues had done well and what I had failed to do.

I believe that some of my colleagues who seemed be progressing or enjoying greater success understood what our boss valued and I either didn't bother to figure it out or I thought my values made more sense...

Consider in your own situation:

What is most important to your boss? I know someone just gave a flippant, sarcastic answer! Now get to the real and right answer - consider what your boss says constantly in staff meetings, what they write to you by e-mail. It might be reputation, it might be slow and consistent growth, it might be not having any surprises.
Then I want to consider what you value - it might be being right, it might be innovation, it might be contributing to important decisions for your department.
Then consider whether the two align - is there a disconnect between your respective values? Is your zealous pursuit of your values undercutting what is important to your manager?

Now if your values do not align you have a few choices:

you can keep doing what you are doing and keep getting the same result,
you can leave and try to find a manager at another company whose values align with yours...good luck with that,
you can adapt.

I'll take Door #3, Bob! Yes, let's try adapting. I am not saying that you sell your values and your soul to the devil to get ahead, but instead that you try to first find a little common ground and then build from there. What does your boss value that actually makes sense to you? How might you highlight that in your discussions or your work?

Action Step (yes, you have to do a little work on this one): as you consider what your manager values, do one thing today that aligns with his/her values. For example, if your manager hates surprises and you suspect that in the coming weeks something might come up that will be less than favorable, instead of standing there with your lip stuck out thinking that if he is the manager, he should know or that the boss's pet should tell him, draft an e-mail to your manager highlighting your concerns and ask for his feedback. (Note: don't bring it up in a meeting with the entire team, but instead find a discrete way to give your manager a heads up. This is your first step in the new 'boss-aligned' you. You don't want to be perceived as undercutting the boss or showing off.)

"Not Me" Did It!

2008-01-27T17:28:00.000-05:00

I'm sticking with my previous blog theme on the lessons that we learned as children that haven't seemed to evolve even as we have matured into adults...

As a kid when something got broken, eaten, used, left and mom asked who did it..."Not me" just rolled off my tongue with a haste that was pretty remarkable. "Not me" did a lot of things in my house...Sometimes it really wasn't me! Other times, I didn't want to get in trouble or didn't mean any harm when I did the deed...

Fast forward to adulthood and "not me" is still rearing his ugly, blame-deflecting head. We've all been there. You're assigned a project and need a co-worker's help; they don't come through and when the project doesn't get done right or isn't on time, who's fault is it..."NOT ME".

We are generally very good at finding fault in others and rationalizing our own role. What could our co-worker have done to complete the project? What could she have said to help me get my work done? Sound familiar? My favorite..."I told my co-worker what I needed and he didn't deliver. I'm not his manager; I can't make him do it!"

We spend a lot of time rehashing/recreating what others should have done differently. Unfortunately, not enough is done to consider what my role - your role - was at every stage of the project which led to the less than perfect outcomes.

To avoid this situation, communication is the key:

Define the project outcomes and deliverables - get buy-in early (One of the most under-utilized tools, the "recap". Send an e-mail after the meeting to recap the discuss and ask that your co-worker reply with any changes.)
Follow-up consistently to make sure that expectations and deadlines are mutual and aligned (set regular meeting to update progress, possibly engaging your manager(s) to ensure that the importance of the project is clear and that your team is on track).
If the project doesn't seem to be progressing as originally anticipated, enlist third party support - this project may need to be re-prioritized or require additional resources. Get help or guidance from someone who can be fairly objective (make sure though that you are not blaming others for the delay. Even if you feel that a co-worker is at fault, make sure that you include them in discussions on how to proceed as much as possible. You want them to be clear about the project's priority and deadlines)

If a project isn't tracking, you must take ownership of the situation - don't let "not me" take the blame. You want to own the progress of all of your projects as much as possible - this is a mark of a true leader. Also in developing strong working relationships with your co-workers, you don't want to be someone who is known for passing the buck.

Controlling our Kindergarten Instincts

2008-01-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

When I was in elementary school, primal instincts and emotions ran high. If a classmate felt slighted, maybe because you took his toy or you beat her at a game, without even giving it much thought he might just walk up and punch you or slap you on your arm as 5 year olds often do.

And inevitably your response...to hit them right back. There was no thought to why your peer, maybe even your friend, hit you in the first place. You just retaliated - letting them know that there were consequences for hitting you!

Fast forward 25-30 years...and co-workers are doing the same thing to each other. Well, I hope not too many are actually physically assaulting each other, but the scenario is often quite similar. Seemingly out of the blue, someone says or does something - in an e-mail, in a meeting - that makes you feel slighted; possibly going over your head to your boss or snapping at you about something that you did or didn't do. It catches you off guard. You feel like you got punched in the stomach!

The mature thing to do is stop, breathe and then go about defusing the situation. But alas, what do most of us do...regress back to that elementary school playground and STRIKE BACK! The less subtle of us over-escalate the incident or inappropriately confront the offending party while the more coy and reserved may inconspicuously assault the person's character through the gossip mill or lay wait for the chance to undercut the offender.

I wish I could tell you the 5 ways not to take the slight personally, but I haven't figured it out for myself yet. Emotions are hard to control, but your reactions to those emotions must be kept under control. You've got to choose to be an adult and employ your learned behaviors (over your innate primate behavior):
(1) Stop - don't follow your first instinct to pounce
(2) Breathe - let better judgment overpower your welling emotions
(3) Ponder - consider what actually happened and your possible role in creating the situation
(4) Seek counsel - an OBJECTIVE party (not an instigator...you know who they are!)
(5) Fix it - execute the plan with love (or at least with respect)...not malice

While 5 year olds are incredibly cute, they should not be our model for adult human interactions. Control those primal impulses when dealing with your co-workers to yield less hurt feelings, less DRAMA and better outcomes for all.

Break out the shovel!

2007-12-17T22:13:00.000-05:00

With two storms - a bit of ice and snow and a lot of freezing rain, the winter wonderland outside my front door is a total hazard. In an effort to ensure that the postman or anyone else walking on my walkway doesn't fall, I had to get out there and clean it up. It's interesting - I could have gotten out the shovel yesterday, but just really didn't feel like it. I was hoping that the sun would come out and melt the ice away. Alas it was a balmy 25 degrees today and so all of the ice was stil there.

It took me most of the day (I guess really almost two) to get up the energy to get out there, but I finally put my boots on and headed out to conquer the ice. After I got outside, it really wasn't bad. While it was a little chilly, the sun was shining, I was actually getting a little exercise for my poor flabby arms and in no time, I had cleared a neat path for the mailman and for me to get to/from the house.

I go through this whole story because it is exactly what we need to do before going into the New Year. We need to break out the shovel. Most people start the New Year with resolutions about what they are going to do differently - eat right, lose weight, work less, call friends more often. But there is little thought to what needs to be cleared away first to make that change. What barriers stand in your way of accomplishing your goals?

So you want to work less in 2008 - you've got two more weeks to prepare for that transition. Just like that ice on my stoop is not going to magically go away so I can get my mail, your work responsibilities aren't just going to diminish. So what do you have to do in the next 14 days to enable you to begin 2008 on the path toward realizing your goal. Do you need to take an inventory of your projects and figure out what the priorities are, what can be delegated and what can be postponed? Do you need to look at how you are spending your time to determine if there is another more efficient way to allocate it?

Setting a goal is relatively easy, but setting yourself up to acheive that goal will send you out of 2007 on a very high note. Actively shovel the walkway so that you can head down a cleared path and begin the New Year with a real commitment to achieving your resolutions.

Just Say Thanks?

2007-12-05T13:25:00.000-05:00

Do you have colleagues that send e-mails with demands masked as requests. "I need you to do this by the end of the day". Or my favorite...the e-mails flagged as high importance. As if their emergency has anything to do with me - you waited until the last minute and now you want me to disrupt my schedule to accommodate you. Oh and you think it's ok, because you put the "THANKS!" or even better "thx" at the end of the message.

Can you tell it's a pet peeve of mine? I would love it if I could change the way that those folks communicate and make requests, but generally I can't. I can only control my communications and not be THAT person who makes ill-mannered requests.

So...how not to be that person...
1. Consider calling the person first or walking to their office. In person requests can be a little bit more personal. E-mail can leave too much to interpretation. Also when you call or speak directly with someone, you can gauge what else he/she has on their plate and where your request falls on the priority list.

2. Use some of your momma's home training (if you didn't get it, Ms. Frances has enough for the both of us). Iff you really need to make a last minute request (even if it's not your fault that it's late), ask, don't tell. While it may be of no real consequence to you, asking versus demanding really does make the other person feel better.

3. Finally, try to limit last minute requests. You don;t want to get the reputation that you are always late; or better still you don't want folks to stop accommodating your requests. You may find that folks have ready made excuses when they see you coming...

So what to do when you get another *&^% last minute request (particularly through e-mail):

1. Close the e-mail, close your eyes, breathe in and out, then open the e-mail again. You have to make sure that the negative energy and frustration doesn't overtake you. Try to consider how you would react if your best friend made the request. Please believe - this is the toughest one for me!

2. Try to set boundaries about your schedule and timeline. You may have to suck it up this time, but consider how you can let others know how best to make requests and your ideal timeline for completion.

3. Clarify expectations. When you get the request, don't just go off to the races to get the project or task done. Make sure you clearly understand what is being asked of you, because if it's a last minute request, you probably have no time to waste. Last thing you need is to rush through something with muddied expectations, only to find that you've done it incorrectly and you are held responsible for poor outcomes.

Maybe how someone asks for something shouldn't matter...but for me it does; so I know I've got to manage how I react and also ensure that I don't fall into the same traps when I have a tight deadline.

I got your back!

2007-11-30T10:22:00.000-05:00

Do you have colleagues on the job who you know will help you out through thick and thin? Who will stay late to help you complete that last minute project? Or who will give you credit in a meeting when the “muckity mucks” in the room? They’ve got your back!
We all need those kinds of friends and we should all be that kind of friend to at least one person. Unfortunately there is a lot of mistrust in the work environment (and in most other places where more then one person exists) and having an ally makes going into the lion’s den a little easier.

At times we don’t support or leverage these relationships in the most fruitful and effective ways. We let them slip into something reminiscence of the cliquey-HS relationships that we had back in the day. It happens to the best of us! So what can we do to ensure that our alliances create more good then harm?
1. Tell your friend when they didn’t do something well. First, this is the true test of the relationship. Praise is wonderful, but that critical feedback may just be what your friend needs to hear to take their performance to the next level – and you may be uniquely positioned to tell them. Just like giving feedback to someone who is not your ally, you want to cite specific examples and talk about the action and how it might have been perceived.

2. Don’t tell your friend ever time another person has slighted them. You definitely want to keep your allies abreast of the landscape so they know the deal, but you don’t want to jade them. You don’t want them to actively distrust everyone and only rely on you for info. This may sound tempting, but as it plays out your ally will begin to have tension with everyone else and everyone else will feel that tension. You may be put in the position to defend your ally, thus getting in the middle of a quagmire.

3. Be honest with others about your friend – even when they haven’t done something well. This one is hard, because no one wants to feel like they are ratting out their friend, but this is work – where people get paid for performance. You cannot lose your credibility or in an extreme case, your job, shielding a colleague that is not performing. Now I implore you to answer questions about your friend tactfully and my approach is to always acknowledge my potential bias as a friend before someone else brings it up.

4. Help others win in their relationships with your friend. Just as you give your friend the inside scoop on how to deal with others in the office, don’t be afraid to coach others on dealing with your friend. Relationships are reciprocal too – even if your friend is amazing at managing them, others may need some help. Don’t be afraid to set those people up for success with your friend. For example, you know that your friend hates when people walk into his office with last minute requests, if you have the opportunity to encourage his colleague to send an e-mail laying out the request and then follow-up in person, then you should share that tidbits. This will put the colleague on notice (even if they don’t change), it might make your friend a little happier and then there is one less situation for you to diffuse.

At the end of the day, this all rests on your genuine desire to reduce drama in the workplace for yourself, your friend and others. If that’s not the case, then ignore everything I just said and acknowledge that you are a friend to no one!

I know more than my boss!

2007-11-19T19:49:00.000-05:00

How many of you sit in meetings and cringe when your manager talks about something that they know very little about – in which you might be the expert or at least know more than him/her – or they just get stuff totally wrong? Or there is the manager that has almost no idea what it is that you do all day – so sometime you feel like there is no support or that you manager can not accurately give you a performance review or that your manager might as well not be there at all. My favorite…the manager that consistently underestimates the impact that you have on your team, your clients and/or your organization – because you do your job well, they think you don’t do that much at all.

I’m not going to debate whether your manager is useless or whether you are justified in your opinions. It actually doesn’t matter. In almost all cases, you have no control over who your manager is and thus, get what you get – flaws and all. What we do control is our actions and reactions to our manager! And boy do we react. Many of us, by our demeanor, attitude, our expressions, let our managers know every day what we think of them – you know the look…“you ain’t worth squat”, “I don’t even know why I deal with your incompetence” looks. These reactions – which we employ to let everyone know, that we “know” the deal, that we are in control – seemingly making us feel more powerful, but they actually weaken our position.

You manager is in a position of authority – he may have some personal intimidation toward you, but it’s not general true professional intimidation. They are not worried about losing that next promotion to you, not relying on you to set them up for success. In fact, they generally mean a lot more to your success than you to theirs – particularly when the relationship is challenging. Your manager will get access that you don’t get, enjoy a status or position that you don’t have and I almost forgot, will get to assess your performance - having at least some control over your promotion and compensation within the organization.

As I said, your manager is in a position of authority, but he/she is not necessarily in the strongest position of power and influence. In a perfect world, there is a power equilibrium between you and your manager – you respect each other; she know your value and worth to the organization, she values your contributions and understands your options and prospects inside and out of the company, you appreciate your role within the team and recognize your manager’s “authority” over you in the company, you respect your manager’s business challenges and value her insight in helping you execute your work...Alas, not many of us find ourselves in such utopian circumstances – hence, the power struggle (which by the way, the manager is at an advantage to win).

So what to do…one of my friends, SW, told me once, “Play offense, not defense”. The offensive strategy is the best approach for advancing your career while also maintaining your integrity. It’s a simple idea in theory, but more challenging in practice. Have you had the situation in which your manager takes credit for your work as their own? The defensive strategy might be self-promotion or trying to withhold as many details from your manager so they have to seek you out for information. These strategies actually create tension or make you seem unprepared, for example where you withhold information. On the flip side, the offensive strategy might be to set your manager up for success – give him everything he needs to appear knowledgeable, allow your work to speak for itself. Now let’s be clear the offensive strategizing doesn’t stop at you thoroughly doing your job. That’s just the beginning, but what it does is increase your power and influence – influence over what is coming out of your manager’s mouth, influence over the outcomes and successes of your organization - and can result in more power over your circumstances and in your relationship with your manager.

In defensive strategy scenario, your work and ultimate results may suffer, your integrity may be compromised and your days may be spent reacting to your manager’s comments or actions of the day. While with the offensive strategy, you achieve your results and in part drive your manager’s results, you should be able to sleep better at night knowing that you did what you set out to do on the job and while your manager may not give your just due in term of credit – he can’t bad mouth you and he likely can’t stand squarely in the way of your success.

Try playing offense. It’s actually quite liberating!

Being Real

2007-11-12T09:20:00.000-05:00

During the last 24 hours, I've been thinking about what I am trying to accomplish in this blog and ultimately what I am actually going to write! I have so much to say (I'm a talker!), but with the computer in front of me last night, I sort of froze up. Ideas came to my head, but just seemed unworthy to send out into cyberspace so I just closed my laptop and figured I would try again tomorrow.

So today is tomorrow and I still feel like I am in the same spot, but I'm determined to write something this morning. I think this actually relates well to professional development and to applying to business school - lots of people talk a good game about what they are going to do, how they are different, but when the rubber meets the road, when no one is looking, there is no movement - just a blank page. This is the foundation for unrealized goals - not starting down the path, but rather just talking about what one would do.

As one of my good friends, OBW, always used to say "Don't Talk About It, Be About It". So I am going to try to live that and just WRITE. Some of it may not be compelling, or may be a stretch, but it's a start down the path. So what is the path you might ask?

I want to share what I know about professional development and about applying to graduate school with interested individuals. I am particularly focused on Blacks and Hispanics, 18-28 years old. All are welcome to read and my information is pretty universal, but in the spirit of keeping it real, I believe my path is to:
- help Black/Brown people become aware of their full potential and find channels for reaching their goals,
- help everyone else understand how capable and talented we are, and
- be famous (can I keep it real? I really do want to be famous. Sounds a little crazy, huh? But I do...not necessarily Oprah famous or TMZ infamous, but you know, a little following. I'll have to delve more into that at another time).

I'm off. Have a great day.

Welcome

2007-11-10T15:58:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my very first blog! This is my first foray into the technology age, so bare with me!

So I started this blog for two reasons. One, cause I have a lot of random stuff in my head that I just gotta get out - I've got to make some room for other data! And two, because some of the stuff is actually relatively useful - so maybe someone else might be able to get some use out it.

I'm going to talk about what I know - and maybe a little bit of stuff that I don't know (that would be my prerogative, right?) Business School Application Process, Professional Development for young people...I hope you find it interesting.